a crazy looks

the attraction towards female is a mysterious thing for me, like the magic. and it forms in a many forms, it changes  depending on conditions, for example there is a relationship rounds around the body, there is too some relationships rounds around the mind or the soul or some mix between all these, but it stays a wonderful and nobody can lives without like these attractions.

it's a complex  relationship can't explain it easy, this attraction give us some feel called the love, or a desire in the love cover, everyone exposed to love, but; sometimes love become destroyer, makes the one lives in a illusions, maybe become a game in hands of friends to looking for fun, maybe it become not necessary. and often I forget what I want say ! sorry...

the girls are big problem, but the life it impossible without them, everyday you see some female body mesmerizes you, make you round around yourself bro ! but this feeling couples with the money! and the house; then comes the role of bed ! and I see the humanist nature requires the boredom from beauty things, and desire for change. but not in all cases, rare cases stays fixed with low-doses, I think this is finest case. 

oh how much I like the brunette female bodies ! huum I desire it and I like the strong looks that coming from girls, especially when it couples with the intelligent, I'm going to end some business and I don't know,... some game I want play it, maybe with one body or more! I will try and I will not lose much in all cases. you must know, when a man trusts a woman, who risked a lot !!

pufff baaad feelings

this morning, I listened to dad when he was talking to mom about me, in that moment I felt that one million devils were dancing into my bloods, because he stayed passes his bullshit as usual, and poor mom stayed silent, sometimes she defended me, but it was a defense closer to the silence, her problem is her faith, and her weakness in front of him...

in that moment I wanted open the door of my room  and go towards him, and break his fuckin' head, but I busted my nerves, after he gone, I screamed a lot in face of my mother, cuz him, I was very angry and I spoke bad language, I feel sorry for her, the world must change, I mean my little world; I should stop him, and he should knows I become bigger to his shit, he must understands this point, cuz it's enough !! I settled ! 

hey jackass !! Eminem said : 

look if you had one shot, or one opportunity

to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment

would you capture it ? or just let it slip ?

Eminem was angry like me now, I'm angry; there is a friend disagreed with me yesterday, he said the angry is weakness, he didn't know what I can do due to the angry !! the angry is something superior !! it can make you change the maps, kill your mean father, tell your mother the fact, make your brothers better, make the people respect you, something like this,...

look at me, imagine this, you stand up easy, you walk relax, you go towards the enemy, you catch his ears and you raise him up, then you throw him down, and bring your knife and slay him, see with me what the angry can do !! or close your mobile in face of that fuckin' worrisome, that he which says he is your friend, nothing man, a man lives for shit, a man hands shit inside him, a man never thinks about some shit, a man everything he knows; girls; money; girls; money... and some bla bla with some shit, does this machine deserves your friendship ? I don't think, I think he deserves the shit... enough

somebody too looks at you in a street like the bitch's looks, he still looks more and more, he sees your body, your clothes, your walking, your shit, what his fuckin' mission in the life ?? does he have some business ??? oh mean... the only thing you can do, is bursting his eyes forever... someone too, he imagine himself like a hero, and he stands in the street down and he stays bothers the transients, the poor thinks he can imposes himself on the people !! damn ! what he deserves ? of course he deserves the death in a ugliest pictures.

the life here is hard, everything is bad, the people doesn't think, the thinkers is just watching, this country is like the ship when it's drowning down, and everybody thinks intelligently; he will leave this sick place forever.

this is my goal...by the way; fuck the wanter, why the wanter ?? cuz I want asshole !!!

I hate dad

fuck ! why would he pry into my business! I hate his actions with me, I hate his way when he talks to me or he looks at me, I feel his looks hates me, perhaps resents me, I feel his talks angry at me, there is some spark gets out his mouth  when he talks, like the spit but it is different, is similar to the blood or the puke,  then I feel him smelly, a stupid, jerk, all the bad attributes gathers in him, I feel a strong desire to kill hem when he screams in my face, he become like the monster or the volcano ! despot unreasonable man ! fuck him !! what he wants ??? he wants me pray ? work with hem ? for enslaves me ? let's he goes to hell ! or he regrets cuz he fathered me ? let's he kisses my ass ! he must asks himself why !! doesn't come to me and pukes on me his shit ! fuck him from here to his fuckin' bed when he farts !! I will not care about him anymore, I will get out and go on and come back when I want when I would ! and he will grow old more and more, then I will know how I will make him pay the price !! 

so, these words to my dear father :

first, fuck you !

after that, you will pay...

you fuck with me and I will fuck with you as usual 

you scream in my face

you puke your bullshit on my ears

you say:  to much freedom not good

and I say fuck off

I give the freedom to myself 

not that you select my freedom's space

not that you motherfucker !!

you want make me live in your way

I say big no ! I have my way...

and I will live in it

you are screaming angry 

good ! 

continue ! walk your talk

I don't care

you don't know me

you don't know who am I !!

but you will...

and I will teach you a lesson

that you willn't forget it

cuz I'm the evil, I'm the death

that'll leak into your bloods 

I'm the havoc, the anger

I'm free man, and I'll be free ever

nobody can stops me, you too

I will go or come back when I want

when I do

not that you ask me where are you gone ?

that not your business asshole !!

I go when I go 

you can take care of your business

don't ask me thank you fucker

cuz you fathered me

I think when you fucked my mama

nobody asked you why ?

nobody asked you do that

nobody, even me; I didn't !!

don't ask me shit 

cuz I can pass the shit like you

you wasn't my father, never 

for me, you just was a scarecrow !!

I will never forget when you was slapping me

when you was cursing me 

or when you was calling my mom a cow !!

fuck you fuckin' low  !

do you remember that one time

you took me in a picnic ?? 

do you remember that one time

you gave me some dibs from your heart ?

do you remember that one time you did that ??

can you answer ???

I don't think cuz you don't have the answer

cuz you lived always for yours and the others

without us, your family

so, bald monkey, fuckin' old man

don't ask me, don't talk to me

cuz is will be good for your little next years

before you die

before I live

with all my hate

your son Mohammed.

My Private Bullshit

what I can say about myself again? some people knows who I'm, but the many people doesn't; whatever; I will present myself such as the rules accepted; my name is Mohammed; I'm Moroccan from Tangier city, I'm living with my parents and I'm learning the English language in the center of American linguist, I finished my lawful study  last year without distinction, is doesn't matter; so I learned the law though I hate it, I've wanted learn the art in the fine arts school, but they mother-fuckers  refused me, I felt frustrated; after that I chose the fuckin' law, anyway; this is what happened shortly, there are lot of things made me arrives into what I'm now, an atheist loser drinker learned man...

what again ? I'm not doing something important now, I wake up so late between 12:00 and 15:00 GMT, I have a breakfast then I open my computer into 17:00, I get out and meet my friends in the cafe, nothing just bla bla and some conversations good, or we play "parchi", is a Spanish game depends on the smartness and the luck, after that we walk in the direction of the Cornish, little bla bla and returning to the house, only!

at night in my room I enter my private world, chatting with someone, open sites of sex or sites for knowledge, then I smoke and I learn some novel, and I sleep like the dead... junk life, isn't ? mostly it's much better than animals life, and also I'm lucky cuz I find the money to lose it for bullshits, I've got the time for the novels and the bla bla, and if I wouldn't die cuz the cancer I think I can change something ! who knows ? 

bla bla bla data

fuck the time ! I'm having a difficult times, no money enough, no clear future, no real projects, nothing worth ! even the blabber doesn't help, the silence also doesn't help, is it a loss or is the end ? confusion ? what ?? shit ! I can't summon my thoughts, I lose my money everyday for nothing, and I sleep then I wake up without a goal, I live my life without a fire, so how long ? the fuckin' time move !!

I wrote this bullshit yesterday at night... but today I wrote another thing, lets see:

now I'm in the classroom : " when I can go ?! I feel bored ! the solution is going  to the cafe and waiting for the friends, I hope this day be funny, because I feel so bad, I get the money without working, my father put it in a clear place. I don't have choices, but I know he is big mother-fucker and he worth all the things that I do with him, this make me better, so lets all the shit go to the hell, I don't care ! the world hurted me and he will pay !

My First Life 1

We weren't naturals in our family life, everything was different, I personally haven't lived childhood as it should, my father was beating me a lot, he didn't take me for a walk, he didn't bring me gifts when I was succeeding; or when I was doing a good thing, he wan't interested in speaking with me, all this made me a different child, I created a world of my own, in this world there are a beautiful things and other things crazy, like Oscar; the pianist, the witches; and the beautiful princess that changes everyday, today is a Brunette, tomorrow is a blonde, and band of the knights, I'd draw all these in my papers, I still keep some of the drawings, this world made me separated from the real world... this caused my many problems in communicating with others, but now I think I beat the lot of it, maybe yes maybe no, it's important that I feel better, although I live with two faces ! one face for people and other face for me and my special friends...

Me and The Blue Face Owner !

The blue face owner restricted me !

He uprooted the spring from my wails, and He seared me with a hard cold...

He commanded me the rocking onto thousand mirror of his lies

if I wanted him revives me...

He enabled me to horror of nature, and He blessed me from his spark eyes a Grecian Fire...

all this for he makes a dark wrap between me and the people ...
all this... He wanted me turns into a dim mirage wears the beautiful things
then our coffins turns and emits from it the reek small...
and He threatened me if I didn't respect him reckless doctrines
He threatened me to feeding me a types of Prometheus damn...
He threatened me to grilling me if I refused
and installing me onto a bier of needles... and making me regurgitates a juices of the pain, and regurgitates again !
why all this horror ? why all this hatred ? why all this worn bridges that is separates me from my brothers ?
why all this pealed silence ?
I said it in myself, and I announced it like a new sunrise...
No ! Mr Blue ! oh fiery eyes owner, and burning body...
I will not be a container of your chronic diseases after today !
and hence-forth you will not see me; a unrestricted !

First: Recording The Basic Ideas

I will translating my fixed ideas about every-things we live it, ideas talks about the religions, the people, the life, and the death... from Arabic to English...

the first subject that I want translate it is: I don't want a religion !

I don't want a religion !

follow my trace with your platforms and eulogies...

and curse me wherever I am 

your God is cartoon movie

You will not find me

I'm the original in the universe

I'm the life in arteries of the nature 

I'm the only truth...

and You will not find me !

because You make a sky doesn't rain between us... only the honey and the torment...

and You hallow that clouds with Your stupid consciences... 

I'm the only truth... I'm the newspaper

I'm the hydrophobic pen that is exposes what in Your beds... of many crimes 

I'm the hangman, beware of me 

You will not find me !

sell Your spirits to the Gelatinous God !

I will not kneel ! save to myself...

from here I announce my freedom from my Islam !

anymore... You will not restrict me !!

Now, It's Time for action

Yesterday we wondered  about the problems that plaguing the world, I think we all know; previously; the world was wonderful , at least...it's wasn't so bad like as it's now ! Many problems lives with us, born with us and continues after we die... and the next worst

the first always good, after that it begins to decline, I remember when I was a child, I was saw all the world like cartoon movies, just kidding and smiles ... innocent faces, but I had almost certainly that these things will change, actually it began to change, year after year. Every day was carrying the new

At the first I was asking questions, but nobody cared, the questions have became bigger, and in the end I became give the answers for myself, maybe it wasn't correct, but better than nothing, the illusion, the deception, the continuous death

I started from my near existence, my father and my mother, neighbours...I discovered that my father was a rude man, I was found in my mother the love and the tenderness, my small sister wasn't speaks and the neighbours hypocrites people, I began to feel the danger ! The people who loves me is few, my father was hurt me long time, but he helped me through this damage

I learned also how I can protect myself I moved away from my father, no talk with the neighbours, just my mother and TV and the books

I benefited from the life with my special way, I discovered also that the life is full of lies, is not easy to believe everything you are told, you must always searching for the truth, any plausible truth

The result was: breaking many idols, stripping a lot of asses, genocide for all illusions, I was starting to evolve, I was starting to freeing myself, and the series of development continued

Hi Everybody !

at first, I want to thank the Blogger Site for this space, and I want to say: welcome in my blog, I hope you  have fun and benefit here.

why am I here ? I know it's a stupid question, but I will answer, I'm here for the truth , yes truth ! you must believe me I'm looking for the truth and the justice that not yet been achieved, I'm here for the world for me and for you because I know also you will need me for baring the false fact.

the world is full of false facts, this world is full of destructive wars, for what ? for nothing... for bullshit, the Humanity weeps, but it is the reason. and the solution must be found even if this solution is hard.

I feel so sleepy now, I have to go in the direction of the bed, and prior to that I will smoke, so goodbye Ladies and Gentlemen , We will meet soon.